Ranting Details

A Few More Before the Swans Dive In.

Just thought I would share a couple more pictures that I have taken over the past week before "Swan Lake" comes to an end tomorrow night. Seeing as Met is winding down this will probably be the last few weeks of intense amounts of ballet pictures. Here is one that I took that I think adequately captures the insanity going on behind the curtain once "places" has been called.

And yet another picture of the fabulous girls from this gawker in the wings (no pun intended).

Tonight as I stood watching the show (both onstage in act 1 and 3 and offstage in act 2) I was astonished at the beauty of Tchaikovsky's score. There is no other ballet in our rep that I can listen to every single night and get chills from as I stand there. Especially for a ballet that in many ways is as overplayed (okay not QUITE as much) as the Nutcracker. From the solitude and longing of the second act to the fervor and passion of the third and fourth it is really just astounding. Hearing it swell as it is being played by our great orchestra feels like watching the sun rise and set. So as much as the girls are ready to say farewell I will keep enjoying this score....at least for the next 24 hours.

The Peculiarities of Facebook.

With all of the Internet technology developing recently, keeping people linked to their pasts is becoming easier and easier. I am sure that everyone here knows about My Space and most of you know about Facebook. If you don't then I will sum it up. Basically it is a way for people who go to school to network with everyone at their school. Along with that you can collect other friends profiles at other schools. Some you know, some you don't. Some people that you would never really speak to in life, others that you talk to all the time.

Being a ballet dancer means that the majority of people I am in contact with all the time are not enrolled in school. However thanks to the ABT/LIU program that was started this past year I am able to not only collect college credit but join Facebook as well! Hooray! (Please note slight sarcasm). What it is slowly starting to act as is a reminder of how disconnected I am from the people I went to school with as a child. I look through their profiles and see pictures of them attending college or spending time in Montana for the summer and am amazed at how many of them still keep in touch with one another. I haven't seen any of these people in person or even had the desire to see most of them since I left my 8th Grade Graduation. Yet there they are with their strings of inside jokes and pictures at college parties. It is a strange reminder of how different the life of a professional ballet dancer is. Not better or worse just different. Its also strange having the capability to be a voyeur into the lives of people who I would still be around had I never left home. Had my life gone in any "normal" way I would be in this very pictures I speak of.

Growing up I always had a small group of friends and was mainly just friendly with the rest of the people I was involved with. I had a group of guys that I hung out with (feigning an interest in football but never hunting....which is where I drew the line of fake hobbies) and they all still are apparently bumming around together.

For me middle school was a jumping off point and all of my substantial relationships developed either before with childhood friends or after at high school and beyond. Did I just never take Grade and Middle School seriously? Or was it that although accepted I never felt like I fit in? Even at that age did I just realize that I wasn't really planning on sticking around too much longer and therefore didn't bother? Since I was a kid I have always said I was going to end up in New York however I never dreamed I would have been half as fortunate as I have been. Dreams don't always become reality. Ah the cliches are coming out on Thursday night!

I often wonder if you put the group of guys I hung out with and I in a room together now whether or not we would really have anything to talk about. One thing I noticed is that the majority of them seem to have pictures on Facebook of hunting. Guns never really went well with what I was wearing. Also the fact that they have never really had any interest in the arts would be a major tipping point as it always has been.

Maybe one day that reunion will actually come. Until then....I'll just rant.

To the Ladies of the Lake…..

I just want to take a moment (a little longer this time) to applaud the women of the corps of ABT. I have watched three consecutive performances now of Act Two and it got better every time. For a ballet notorious for killing the girls bodies I noticed little if any fatigue as I stood peering out of the stage left wings.

Normally when fellow dancers watch in the wings you almost always catch at least one person whispering or giggling to themselves. Not that we are really misbehaving but there will be the occasional glance offstage or deep sigh trying to breath some life into these tired bodies of ours. The girls didn't have one eyeball out of place. As a male dancer I have never had to deal with a true test of corps stamina in the classical sense. There is nothing equal to "Swan Lake", "Giselle" or "La Bayadere". As much as the boys like to think that five minutes standing on the side of the stage during Vision Scene in "Raymonda" makes us understand the girls pain....let's be honest, it doesn't.

(Anne makes some Swan love to the Camera)

If it wasn't for the glistening sweat beading on the girls backs I wouldn't ever know that they were working their hardest. They jump with such ease and stay in lines like its second nature. Eyes darting back and forth checking forward and sideways fly under the radar with such swiftness that the audience would never know. It's almost like they emit a sort of silent call, an understanding, that helps them flock like birds in the sky. Standing observing tonight I just kept laughing at how much better the girls are at staying in lines than the guys. Even the simplest formations seem to give us problems. We have a lot to learn.

(Marian, who is celebrating a birthday today (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!), takes a minute to demonstrate a signature pose)

The minute they walk out onto the stage there is focus and intent even when just standing on the side. They are committed to the bigger picture and to doing whatever they can to make it better. During third act I struggle with standing in one place for 30 minutes and I'm allowed to move! I can let my arms go freely, turn my head, and I don't have to worry about any type of formation. Yet I still find my mind racing and panicking at moments. Finding the ability to be present at all times is such a struggle and its during the down moments on stage that I think everyone has the hardest time. We aren't trained at school how to stay connected when we aren't part of the action.

Some nights the dancing keeps my attention more than others. I will look around and just out of plain old fatigue the dancers lining the sides eyes will start to glaze over. That was not the case the other night with Gillian Murphy. It is such a rush to see people that you look up to developing before your eyes. Every choice she made the other night, whether it be in her phrasing or the focus of her eyes was so dead on. She took a different path with some of it than I had ever seen before and by catching me so off guard she really impressed me. To take something that everyone has seen hundreds of times and infuse it like it has just been choreographed happens so rarely. It was a great performance.

(A blurry Gillian Murphy guards her ladies)

From the first year corps members just getting their wings to the dancers who have been flapping them for years, these three shows were proof (I say that like we needed proof) of just how talented the women of ABT are.

The Swans Have Come.

Okay, its 11:30, I am exhausted and my dad is coming into town tomorrow. Needless to say I can't spend too much time blogging. I will say this though, and expand on it in a future blog; the girls of ABT Corps were stunning tonight as I watched Act Two of the ballet from the wings. Here is just a little taste of pictures I took tonight. I will put up more soon!

Songs YOU Need To Download…..6/26/06.

So its been a while since I have demanded that my readers download some music and I think its time I change that. Of course I use the word demand lightly, I merely SUGGEST that if you want, then you should. Here is what songs are consuming my iPod time backstage at the theater these days. And they just might make you Flashdance like Blaine is in the picture!

"Maneater"-Nelly Furtado
"Say It Right"-Nelly Furtado
Both of those are upbeat club-y songs that are bound to put you in a good mood. So Furtado totally sacrificed most of her integrity with this new CD and it sounds like Gwen-ish pop....but hey I don't mind TOO much.

"Crystal Ball"-Keane
"Broken Toy"-Keane
My favorite songs so far from their new CD.

"Apres Moi"-Regina Spektor
"Hotel Song"-Regina Spektor
"That Time"-Regina Spektor
Regina Spektor is one of those artists that people have been telling me about forever. Well I now officially love her. Kind of a mix between Bjork, Nellie McKay, and Fiona Apple, she has some incredible offbeat lyrics and a really distinct sound. HIGHLY recommended.

"The Man That Got Away"-Judy Garland (live at Carnegie Hall recording)
After seeing Rufus do this concert I have started listening to the original. This version is a stunning version of an incredible song. The emotion in both her and the orchestra is just something you don't hear anymore. Had to throw a classic into the mix.

The Avalanche.

Was just looking around online today and found a stream of the new Sufjan Stevens album. This CD is basically just outtakes from his "Illinoise" album but I am eagerly anticipating it nonetheless. Sufjan is by far my favorite artist that I have gotten into within the past couple of years. He is a folk singer who's scope is a little overwhelming. Not only the scope in the actual music he creates which I discover new things in with every listen but the scope of his ambition. He has set out on a project known as "The 50 State Project" which includes him creating a CD for each state. So far he only has two out, but they are both amazing albums. So if you have a few minutes give this stream a listen....It's different but I have been known to convert people into fans of him before so I will keep trying!
Sufjan Stream!!!!

Sunday in the LES.

Today I awoke in a slightly delirious state. I saw the sun rising before I went to bed which has a special way of throwing off your equilibrium for the whole day. While I could have stayed in bed all day David persuaded me to get out and go have brunch in the Lower East Side.

Over the past year this has become one of my favorite places to hang out and I don't do nearly enough of it. Within New York there are so many different areas, each with something different to offer but to me the Lower East Side is so unique. I love walking around and seeing all of the abandoned buildings and the whole area in this transitional state. There are the people walking around who have lived there all of their life and have witnessed the changes as they progress. In a place like Chinatown you see people walking around who have every business and their whole life within a ten block radius, essentially they could never leave that area and have more than enough to survive. That's probably true of any NY neighborhood but we are all spoiled and want to see the world.

As I travel around the city and the world I sometimes don't stop and think about how fortunate I am to have all of these opportunities to visit different cultures. Even in New York there is such a melting pot of cultures, one that most people in the country never get to see. The LES really exemplifies this idea to me. That has always been its place from the time New York began with the tenements being a low income housing option for immigrants and I am sure that is what initiated it as such an eclectic area. You realize though how difficult it is to maintain that eclecticism in the burgeoning world of corporate America. I don't want this to sound like some weird rant about chain stores and commercial products because I use them just as much as the next person, but it really does feel special to find independent restaurants and stores thriving.

Today as we sat in the restaurant on the corner looking out at all of the businesses with Chinese lettering on their storefronts something about it just felt so neighborhood-y. The world cup was being viewed by cheering locals who had gathered with their friends and families on a overcast Sunday afternoon. I didn't feel like I was in New York. When everyone is constantly running to the next place, or on the subway rushing to your job, I kind of forget that stopping and taking it all in is okay.

That's exactly what we did though after lunch as we headed aimlessly through the Village. We ended up in Tompkins Square park and sat on park benches trying to think of goals for the next year. That's a fairly loaded question but I know for sure that it includes more days like this (without the delirious fatigue of course!).

We Are the BEGGARS!

Last night was the final show of "Manon" and while for me it was fairly rough dance wise, it was a blast even so. With a part like beggars, you get to improv and mess around with all of the other people on stage for the majority of the first act. When it comes to the end of the week, doing a part like that usually means its going to be NUTS the last night. Well, it certainly was. Most of all was our frightening make-up which our resident make up guru Tom provided for most of us. Blood, sores, dirt, the whole spectrum of beggar-dom was living on our faces. As Susie, our wig-guru, pointed out....it seems strange that non of us have any dirt or anything on our legs at all...Oops.

Above is a picture of my partner in crime Anne Milewski and I. As the whores come of the boat in the third act the girls do an amazing job at acting completely sick and on the verge of dying. For those of us standing on the sides and having to keep a straight face it is difficult to do so when the girl you are taking care of is a limp noodle in your arms who goes on to die right on the stage. Anne miraculously came back to life last night as the tears of laughter streamed down my cheeks. Incredible. Unprofessional on my part, but incredible. She started pulling her hair out and showing it to me and with that I knew I would have to get a restraining order against her. She just makes me laugh too much.

Mr. Bocca’s Farewell.

I have never seen the company like I have seen the company tonight. From the intense focus during the performance and the silent viewing from the wings by all to the joyous screaming and clapping of the curtain calls; it was a night to remember. Of course the event as most everyone (including my cab driver to the Met today) knows was Julio Bocca's farewell to ABT.

People packed the wings as the performance progressed trying to grab a last look at the legend that has been dancing in this company for 20 years. It's a little mind blowing to think that since I was born this incredible artist has been thrilling New York audiences with his dramatic dancing and comedic charm. All of that was on display tonight. "Manon" is one of the most dramatic ballets I have ever seen and as Julio cried over Alessandra's body as the curtain came down it was a much more emotional impact than usual. After the curtain went down the two of them stayed on the floor for a minute and cradled each other obviously relishing the final moments of their partnership together. I cannot even begin to imagine the emotions that had to have been flooding through both of them.

The audience response was thunderous to say the least. They had remained fairly subdued during the show but as the curtain came up the flashes began and the chanting didn't stop for about twenty minutes. As former partners, fellow dancers, and friends came and threw flowers at his feet (or his head) the audience never stopped screaming. If anything they just grew wilder. People starting screaming his name, throwing things (including a flag) and chanting for him to keep bowing. At one point he requested a beer and his dresser came carrying it to him. There he stood center stage of the Met, the legend that he is, drinking a beer in front of 3,500 people. Just a small example of his sense of humor.

Company members stayed on the stage for about thirty minutes continuously clapping and taking pictures. As the audience cleared out we all stood in silent anticipation waiting for Julio's parting words. They were brief but poignant. He showed how much love he has for this company and the people that have made this company what it was. He acknowledged the people who have been here since he has and the people who have just come in. He told us to put our heart on the stage for the audience to see and to enjoy it. My cab driver today asked me what kind of guy Julio was and whether he was nice or not. Without hesitation I said that he is the nicest most genuine guy and extremely humble. Both approachable in life and untouchable in his art . I feel so fortunate to have stood on the same stage as him.

Collaboration!

Ever since I was a young child my best friend Michael and I have been collaborating on everything. First it started as bizarre performances in the basement of my house. When we grew too old for that we started making movies together. Thrown in with those two strange examples we began writing musicals. First there was a strange time travel piece called "Time Capsule" in which we refused to accept that what we had titled our show was not, in fact, a time travel device but instead a box you stick in the ground. We stuck to our definition and refused to change it but in the end abandoned "Time Capsule" just as you would abandon one in the ground. We were about twelve at the time.

Our next project was a sort of homage to the flop musical version of Stephen King's "Carrie". We thought, why not take on Alfred Hitchcock's "Psycho" and turn it into a big Broadway musical. Well that idea proved to be more difficult than we had expected and was abandoned shortly after it was started. Writing music for a murderous shower scene could only be handled in a literal way by a pair of thirteen year olds. We still do have a couple of those songs lurking around somewhere though and they provide constant laughs whenever we stumble on them in my garage.

Perhaps our biggest accomplishment (this was Montana I will remind you) was in 8th grade when we wrote a show called "Myth". This was a sort of "Into the Woods" using Greek mythology and intricately (or so I thought) weaving the stories of all of the Greek Gods and goddesses into one giant soap opera. If my memory serves me right it had to do with Prometheus giving the mortals the power of light and the insanity that ensued. I remember some strange climactic scene in the underworld which I am sure made absolutely no sense. This show was my 8th grade project for my English class. Michael and I went to separate schools so I handed in my 50 page script, costume and set sketches, mock playbill and demo tape to my republican teacher at my republican school. Hellgate Middle School. Seriously. While other kids handed in Mount Olympus Popsicle Stick replicas, I had slaved over this for months. My teacher politely handed it back to me (probably screaming "GAY! GAY! GAY!" in her head) with an "A" slapped on it and something to the effect of "nice effort". Real words of encouragement. Yes I am still bitter.

At Michael's more democratic school, Washington Middle School, not only were the arts more celebrated but we even got our first public performance out of this show. During a choir concert Michael played the piano and our friend Maggie performed the most coherent song from the show called "Warmth and Light". I will never forget sitting in the back row of that church and hearing our collaboration performed for an audience of open ears. That was really the first time I had created a part of something and had carried it through to fruition. I needed this, I needed to write or perform and this show was one of the catalysts for me.

As a twenty year old in a ballet company corps there are many days where I don't feel artistically fulfilled. I work my hardest to bring characterization to some of the minor roles I do but often I question whether or not I really deserve the title of "artist". I want to own that title but I just don't feel like I do yet. For me the most I ever feel like that is when I am writing or working on choreography, you know, really really creating something. I love the chance to delve into a piece that has been choreographed and getting the chance to project your own thoughts and ideas onto that but nothing compares to it all coming from your head.

I have my moments of Claire Fischer-ness (yes "Six Feet Under" is back) where I doubt myself and wonder if I will ever really be able to create and thrive in this difficult profession I have chosen as a career. For me having outlets like writing really keep me sane. I am so happy to say that Michael and I are collaborating on something again. A couple months ago I wrote a poem called "Wonder Boy" which I had created with Michael's music in mind. This week he has started writing music to it and I couldn't be more excited. He basically taught himself how to play the piano as a child but has such an amazing gift for it I feel completely spoiled to have someone write such beautiful music to my fairly mediocre lyrics. I am happier with these lyrics than I have been with stuff of mine in the past. I just want them to do Michael's music justice. I hope that over the summer we can complete something and I will post it online somewhere if I can. It just feels good to collaborate again. Even if we are thousands of miles apart.
"Wonder Boy"