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Well "The Winger," a fellow blog in case you have been living under a rock, has a good thing coming to it. David Hallberg has finally gotten a Mac! After a little prying and convincing (for about a year) David finally got the courage to journey to the Mac Side yesterday afternoon and take the plunge...purchashing his first real computer. Now, now, now, don't get all upset if you have a PC.....I was just raised on Mac so in a way its like a religion or political view (I kind of just followed my parents guidance but know it was the right choice all along) and I have eagerly been converting people ever since I was able to. Mission accomplished! This picture was taken in the Mac store on one of the beautiful new MacBook's. Congrats David....you are a man. 
After a little afternoon shopping we went up to Central Park to enjoy a true New York experience, listening to a concert in Central Park that we didn't pay for. There aren't many places where you can just decide at the last minute to go and listen to Damien Rice and Fiona Apple play but that's the glory of being in the Big Apple. As we walked into the park there was a flood of people journeying over to the East Side to park it on the extremely uncomfortable woodchip field outside of SummerStage. Unfortunately we arrived at the very end of Damien Rice's set (which David had come for) but from what we heard he sounded great. Then we had about an hour to people watch and let me just say that this was the prime location for the crazies to come out.
First there was the man walking around making a killing selling beer from a bag and frantically glancing over his shoulder as he made each transaction. There was the aroma of weed coming from all angles as people just lit up right in the park....hmmm slightly risky I would think! Then there were the New York families that had a baby strapped on the front of the dad, a young child and a dog perched on a blanket with their frisbee's and their newspaper. And last but certainly not least there was Wrench Woman.
Had I not been totally afraid I was going to get beaten with the wrench I would have taken a picture because lord knows I was dying to. It started innocently enough (or so I thought, apparently David saw her verbally attack someone who wouldn't give her a cigarette) but it quickly escalated into one of the most hilarious/frightening disruptions I have ever encountered. As Fiona Apple took the stage and shrieked and groaned her way through a set of underwhelming performances, Wrench Woman set up shop beside a giant tree. First she started shouting "You all don't know the pain! We'll see who has the last laugh! Fucking great, fucking great! I'm the messiah, I'm gonna crucify ya" and other fun slogans like that. I was convinced that she must be attempting to do some cult-ish resurrection or conversion so I was all ears. David and I would be mid conversation and then she would start and we would immediately turn our attention to see what fun words of wisdom she would spew next.
Well after the words came the wrench. She pulled it out of her bag and just kept hitting it against her hand menacingly gazing around, for a victim maybe?! Occasionally she would point it at someone and say something like "you'll be sorry you stupid arrogant American assholes" or something equally as sweet and then would hit it on the tree behind her head. If only Fiona could have been as entertaining! Inevitably the cops came and asked her to leave to which she preached a few parting words about the end of the world and such. Thankfully my friend Caitlin arrived in time to see a few moments of the show outside the show. 
So we lingered around for the remainder of the lackluster screeching from Fiona and I introduced friends to each other which is always good feeling. There is always that nervousness when you first cross groups of friends where you question if they will like each other. My friend Jess has this theory that friendship is transitive meaning if I am so close to two individual people then chances are they will be close as well. Most of the time I find that to be true, but not always. Fortunately we ended up having a good time before journeying back to the Mac Store on 5th avenue. 
Mac is working overtime (literally 24/7/365) to get this new store off the ground. Its really incredible looking from outside as you can see, and the spiral staircase and elevator inside are pretty amazing. But then again, I don't need a conversion....I've been a die hard for a while now. Hmmm....maybe my next Mac Convert should have been Wrench Lady! Damn, missed that opportunity.

Posted at 04:03 PM in Uncategorized | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Last night I, along with a few friends, went to the New York State Theater to see San Francisco Ballet do "Sylvia". I went into the night with a lot of excitement at the possibility of seeing a new version of a ballet that we had done the past two seasons at ABT. Unfortunately I left a little disappointed. Not by the entire thing because I definitely found things to enjoy in it but I think I have just kind of realized that "Syliva" is a difficult ballet to make work.
The opportunity to compare and contrast both versions was something I was really looking forward to and as the music to the (extremely long) overture started, all of the ABT dancers I was with started having some MAJOR deja vu. It was only about a month ago that we were behind the curtain getting ready to stun the audience with our blue make-up and glitter crowns. So you can imagine my bewilderment when the curtain opened and there was a) no fog! and b) No blue make-up?! AHH!! Mark Morris has completely redone "Sylvia".
The saving grace for me with this ballet has always been the music. It fits the (zany) story really well and there is so much power in it, especially sections like the hunt in act one and some of act three. Somehow in this version though I thought there were some gorgeously musical sections and also some completely bare moments. Morris has a tendency to do canons in his choreography and some of them were used beautifully in this ballet. However sometimes the action on stage was just a little too mellow for my taste. The same problems exist in this version as in the ABT version; there seems to be little dramatic tension or power that really keeps the audience alive.
I think I either just wanted it to be a completely zany, trippy, different take on the ballet or just the same version, and what the audience got was something a little in-between. It was really great to see another big company performing other than City Ballet or ABT because I don't think I've ever really had the chance since I can remember. New York has always been where I see all of my dance and this Lincoln Center Festival provides some amazing chances to see what else the world has to offer. I am really looking forward to going back and seeing the rep program this week because after seeing the dancers last night I think they will really dance the shit out of it on Saturday.
Since I have been in ABT I have had very few opportunities to visit with old friends from NCSA and even fewer chances to see them dance, so last night was very special in that sense. It is great being on the other end of things for once and being a cheerleader for people you grew up with. My old roommate from NCSA, Garen Scribner, was dancing a featured part in the third act and looked fabulous. It is so nice to see people that you know being so successful all over the world; it's a little mind-boggling. All of these thoughts seem a little scatter-brained today but maybe I'll have a little more to say after the show on Saturday night! Until then...
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In an ongoing addition to my site that began with an exploration about the transformation of Britney Spears….here is the next in the series “Wha’ Happened?!”
While searching through my cluttered desk the other day I came upon this interesting find. I think this had to have been in maybe 1996?! It was one of my first ballet performances and I was a bug catcher in "Flying Fireworks," a ballet about the local carousel. Pictured with me is one of my best friends from childhood, Erica, with whom I did my first pas and later ended up at NCSA with. I think that shirt is probably bigger than anything in my current wardrobe...I was so cool with by bowl cut and glasses. 
Underneath it on my desk was this picture of me doing "Cinderella" this year taken by Gene Schiavone. Standing to my right is one of my best friends Jackie. I don't even know if I could fathom the idea of ABT at the age I was at in the first picture yet somehow I think I probably acted just about the same at 10 as I do now. Wha Happened?! Ah, memories! Frightening at times but usually put a smile on your face. Why am I putting this blackmail out here?!
Posted at 04:01 PM in Uncategorized | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

I never read “Men’s Health” magazine. Maybe the fact that I eat a completely unhealthy diet, only enjoy reading fitness articles to see who has good bodies yet never apply the teachings to myself, and have no need to read about finding the female erogenous zones limits the magazines appeal to me. Yet there I was sitting backstage a week or so ago and found myself stuck in a room where the only choice of magazines was a “Playboy” and “Men’s Health,” both obviously things I subscribe to. So I picked it up and started flipping through only to find that ten minutes later I had tears building in my eyes and shivers all over my body.
Now before you start laughing too much let me explain a little. Amidst the articles about weight loss and sex tips there was an incredibly touching tribute written by Craig Ferguson (host of “The Late Late Show”) to his recently departed father. Along with touching anecdotes about his time spent with his father he discussed what it means to deal with loss and the different stages of life. Ferguson himself has a son that is almost five and it was extremely important to him that his son got to spend time with his father. Three generations in one room, and me reading it backstage at the Met as if it were my life story, crying in the men’s lounge. There was something so relatable and intimate about the way he paints the meeting between his father and his son in a hospital in Scotland as the torch is passed from one man to the next. He makes himself so vulnerable in the writing of this article, I only wish I was able to lay my thoughts on the page as candidly.
One of the most beautiful things in the world to me is the idea being able to share your family with each other as it grows. I know personally I will always be sad that I never got to meet my mother’s mother, or spend a little more time with my father’s parents. I can only hope that one day when I have children they will be able to experience what I never got to.
In the corner of this article there was a box that laid out the “5 Moments That Define A Man,” and something about it made me incredibly sad. Of course there are milestones that the majority of people will go through that could be said to define them, but when one of those events is legally denied to me, how am I supposed to handle that? Will I ever be able to share Ferguson’s type of experiences with my family?
Number one on his list is “Choosing to Marry,” obviously a major step in anyone’s life, but as a gay man it is something that in our current constitutional crisis is denied to me. We all want the same things, the same joys, and people there to share our pain but sometimes I just get so depressed by the state of our world. If these are the five steps that define a man then what does that make me if I can’t legally do one of them.
Now I am not foolish enough to think that this list is definitive or that just because the country doesn’t recognize my love for a man that makes it any less real. Yet it still reflects the mindset of a large majority of this country, and possibly even people that are reading this right now.
Number Three on this list is “Receiving Your First Real Defeat,” and it talks about things that cut “really deep” such as divorces or job loss. Yet as I read this it again prompted the idea that in a way I had already been defeated out of pure denial of who I am as a person. This is such a scary thought to me and as the tears built up I realized just how scared I was of all of this list and for varying reasons.
“Becoming a Father” is number two and is something that I look forward to and yet another thing that by being a gay man adds difficulty to an already difficult milestone. Tying into the article number four is “becoming an orphan” and realizing that after your parents’ death there is nothing to fall back on anymore. You truly stand on your own. Having never dealt with death as an adult it honestly isn’t something that I think about very often but I think everyone carries around this unspoken fear of the unknown at all times.
Sprawled at the end of this list is the vague idea that “you don’t know everything” which probably scares me more than anything. Of course this fear comes with a sprinkle of excitement in anticipation of what is to come, good or bad. As my eyes scanned the last sentences of the article I couldn’t help but be bombarded by the words “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know,” over and over and over again. I don’t know how I will handle these events, I don’t know how to handle the fact that I am denied some of these “rites of passage,” and I don’t know how to handle the state of things right now. Bringing up Yahoo every day and finding headlines declaring that gay rights are being denied left and right, state after state, I don’t know what there is that I can do to help. I don’t even know if I believe that everyone together can make a change. Sometimes I just feel so disheartened.
Yet somehow we all keep going, through the unknown and through that fear, finding our way past the headlines and the guidance of “Men’s Health” articles.
Posted at 03:58 PM in Uncategorized | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Just another entry in my ongoing attempt to force people to listen to music! Some of these on this list are really incredible songs though, so if you can't afford to buy them....find a way to download them!
"I'm On Fire"-Bruce Springsteen
This song was used in Ohad Naharin's eclectic piece "Telophaza" which I saw over the weekend. It rolls along just like the "freight train running through the middle of my head" that he talks about during the song. It's my new obsession, just wish that I could watch the incredible choreography that accompanied this music. It was another example of someone using pop music to create dance I never could have dreamt of.
"Mushaboom"-Feist
This song just makes me happy, its as simple as that. Her voice just floats and it feels very summer-y.
"Springfield, or Bobby Got a Shadfly Caught in His Hair"-Sufjan Stevens
It seems that none of my lists are complete without a song of Sufjan's. I just got tickets to see him this fall in NYC and I could not be more excited. This song is off of his new CD of outtakes called "The Avalanche" and the way he paints a story is so unique.
"This is That New Song"- Badly Drawn Boy
My friend Caitlin made me a playlist that has this song on it. I have so much music on my ipod that I don't even know about so I love to have other people look through and make a playlist because they always choose music I haven't discovered. It really tells me so much about a person and Caitlin has some incredible taste in music.
"Deja Vu"-Beyonce
Okay, I had to throw one bombastic pop diva song in there. The song is great, the video is awful but it's still entertaining to see Beyonce hump all over Jay Z while he seems completely indifferent. Good work Beyonce.
Posted at 03:57 PM in Uncategorized | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

I am officially obsessed with Ohad Naharin. Throughout my life I haven’t ever really seen a series of work by any one choreographer and been completely blown away (excluding Balanchine and Robbins of course) but after seeing two works by this brilliant man I would go to Israel just to see his work.
Last night I dragged a couple of non-dancer friends to go to Lincoln Center to see the Batsheva Dance Company perform “Telophaza,” a full-length work of the highest caliber. Sitting in my seat at the State Theater I found myself remembering the same feeling of elation when I watched Nacho Duato’s company five years ago. Something about European modern dance is becoming so special to me and I never would have expected it.
“Telophaza” is a stunning piece using a seemingly endless amount of dancers to represent the power of unity and individuality at the same time. Naharin is most effective with his movement when he gets all of his dancers going together and the majority of the evening was spent in unison. The amount of power and excitement that can be accomplished by really strong, musical, innovative unison dancing is unparalleled in my opinion.
There were movements of this ballet where the wings were like clown cars with the slats set up showing no place for the dancers to enter and exit from yet a constant flow was miraculously appearing form the wings. At the back of the stage hung four large screens that were used to incredible effect mostly of live feeds of the dancers faces. As the majority of the company danced on the bare stage there would be four large, peering faces gazing out into the audience as the dancers interrogated themselves in the lenses. This focus on such zoomed in sections of the body seemed to pit the idea of separate and united thought and movement against each other. The viewing of the parts of the whole was hypnotic and played with the ideas I had talked about in an earlier post of Naharin’s love of the coexisting of different movement patterns. Fast and slow, smooth and rigid, confined and open; it was all demonstrated by watching both the screens and the dancers on stage at the same time.
There are so many parts of this piece I would love to be able to watch again but having it replay in my memory is incredible as well. My friends ended up loving the evening (which was a relief to me after having so much pressure put on the fact that the piece could have possibly been horrible) and we worked ourselves into a sort of frenzy re-enacting parts of it later in the night.
After seeing both this piece and “Minus 16” I am so happy to know that whenever I feel like I have lost the joy of movement I can just remember these two experiences. This, to me, is what dance is all about and it’s a shame that we don’t have the chance to see work like this more often.
Posted at 03:56 PM in Uncategorized | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)

You might find yourself looking at the picture above and thinking "What the hell is going on?" and that would probably be a common reaction. To answer the question that your brain is posing; my friends and I decided today while in Duane Reade that it would be fun to buy this creepy looking face masks that cost $1.99 and promised to "revitalize, refresh and excite!" your face in a mere five minutes. Well, a little warning to everyone out there....don't ever buy one of these masks. After having some fun taking pictures and enjoying what I thought was a normal tingling sensation we removed the masks to find that it had burned my face! The tingling was actually my skin searing off and I had huge circles left under my eyes of pastey-whiteness where the mask hadn't covered. Fortunately the discoloration has evened a little bit as the night went on but my face still feels burnt. Put this on the list of things to never do.
Oh and one more warning coming from the land of grossness via Montana correspondence. My dad apparently came home from fishing yesterday with a huge leech sucking his blood on his leg. Unbeknownst to him he had this "plum sized" creature sucking his blood the whole drive home. Pretty thought isn't it? So my weekend warning is this: Listen to your body because if it feels like something is burning you or sucking your blood, chances are you are right and should fix it ASAP. Ah, words of wisdom I know.
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Part of what is so great about coming from a family of performers is the fact that I have constant opportunities to experience other realms of the art world. My sister is a gorgeous modern and tap dancer, my mother is tap dancer and my father is an actor so you might say that it just runs in the family. Along with being constantly supportive of my endeavors, they all challenge me to go and do other things to feed my "artistic soul". In the past twenty-four hours I have started what I am now nicknaming the "Dance Extravaganza," where I have seen and taken on some great and challenging dance experiences.
Last night I went to see my sister perform in a program called "Tap City," which she has appeared in for the past two years. As far as I am concerned there is no greater experience than seeing a sibling performing and growing before your eyes. Not to be the typical congratulatory family member but I can honestly say that my sister was basically just better than all of them. She has such a natural ease and glow on stage and from the minute she caught my eye (I was in the third row) during the opening number I got a sense of what she so instinctively possesses; magnetic charm. On top of that she has pretty flawless technique, which adds up to a pretty killer combo. I just wish that I got to see her dance more often.
The rest of the program was okay at some parts and great at others; a little uneven but still enjoyable. As well as having some great dancers, the three-piece band was awesome. It's so interesting in a form of dance like tap where, unlike ballet, improv is not only welcome but demanded at times. Tap shows sometimes turn into a type of dance-off not only between the dancers but between the band and dancers as well. You can see the energy rushing between the dancer and the band as they push each other into more and more of a frenzy. Imagine me standing on stage at the Met and getting the orchestra to follow my every move....don't know how well that would go. Point being, for someone like me, I can't even fathom improv at times it really just blows my mind.
So what did I to today? Subject myself to an hour and half Master Class from Ohad Naharin where we did nothing but improv. It was probably best that at the time of signing up I had no idea what I was in for because had Naharin not walked in and locked the door behind him (not kidding) I might have been tempted to run out due to my own insecurity. I decided to take this class after seeing what immediately rose to the top of my "best ever" list of dance, his piece "Minus 16." The piece was a reminder of the joy of movement, and that is what his class attempted to recreate and teach.
The mirrors in the room we were in had been completely covered so we couldn't stare at ourselves but instead needed to feel the movement. He has some incredible useful ideas that can be used in not only his technique but ballet as well. The idea that dance is an expansive, joyous activity sometimes gets lost in classical ballet with all of its structure and placement. By allowing the dancers to "create curves" with any and all parts of our bodies, play with space, and "let the bones sink out" of our skin I discovered movement I didn't know I was capable of. Perhaps my favorite thing he said today was the advice to "never have just one thought" when doing anything. Make it a full body experience where you aren't just thinking "lift my leg" but instead are aware of how everything is existing at the same time, not just some extraneous limb. He also had some incredible things to say about the phrasing of musculature and musicality. We played a lot with having both "floaty" and "thick" movement coexisting where one hand would be in the tightest fist you could make while the other flowed as freely as lava. I wish that I could just sit and listen to him speak about what he thinks dance should be, because even just this hour and a half I was able to find so much, even through my level of discomfort.
Which brings me to my next point. Are ballet dancers the least outgoing people compared to other dancers and actors? As I have been hanging out with some great musical theater friends from U of Mich I am amazed at some of the similarities and differences in our temperaments. Does the freedom that comes along with your art of choice influence how you act socially as well? 
(Out with my "outgoing" friends the other night)
I looked around the room at the tap show last night and during class today and thought about how improv requires such an extreme amount of vulnerability and fearlessness. Ballet dancers are never asked to improv or even really ever "asked" to choreograph although some obviously choose to. Between playing some games with these musical theater folk and witnessing these other dancers I can't help but see how shy we seem in comparison. Maybe not shy but rather uptight. Maybe its the buns and dance belts that are sucking our sanity away! I say that as if modern dancers don't wear dance belts....
Continuing on my "Dance Extravaganza" there will be another "Tap City" show tonight and a performance by Ohad Naharin's company tomorrow night at State Theater. All of this adds up to.....MORE BLOGGAGE! Ugh and I still have so much "normal" stuff I want to blog about. More to come. 
(Random picture while coming home during the pouring rain from class)
Posted at 03:55 PM in Uncategorized | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)