Ranting Details

Lazy Post of the Day. The ‘Sister’hood.

I buy a lot of music. As much as my Razor plan from last year insisted that I CUT THAT HABIT off as fast as a limb with gangrene, I just couldn't ever part with it. Impulse buys often lead to lots of music that I seldom listen to but occasionally I will stumble on a group that really sticks out. To me that happened with "Scissor Sisters" a few years ago when I was snooping around on iTunes. I read about how they were a huge hit in the U.K. and with a little click of the mouse found that their album was online before it was in the stores. From the minute I purchased it until today it still ranks as one of my favorites in my collection. One of those rare CD's that you can listen to all the way through without hesitation. I frantically tried to push this band on all of my friends and while some of them took to it, the majority acted like the rest of the U.S., with sluggish disapproval. It's been a few years since their debut came out and they are back with their new single "I Don't Feel Like Dancing." Upon first listen I wasn't as hooked as I had hoped but now I can't seem to stop playing it. The "Scissor Sisters" are gay in every sense of the word. They are lighthearted and carefree, just making you want to dance and in the other sense have about three gay members which is always nice to see in a successful band. Regardless of orientation though, they just make good FUN music. I won't pretend to know what they are doing in this new video, or what drugs they were on while making it for that matter, but just sit back, watch, listen and enjoy. Then go buy the album! It can take you from being in a horrible mood like I was fifteen minutes ago, to being happy, just like that. If that's not an endorsement then I don't know what is.

3:30.

I remember the choreographer Peter Quanz saying something very strange to me around this time last year. He was working on creating the piece “Kaleidoscope” for ABT and mentioned that he had been keeping himself up all night working on it. Apparently he was fighting with pennies late at night in his apartment working on formations for the corps. When he first told me that, it sounded completely ridiculous but now I absolutely understand his frustration.

My lesson of the summer has been that creation is an all-consuming entity. The only explorations I had done with creation before were Star Wars ballets in my basement as a child, and the occasional work on some writing; miniscule to say the least. As an adult I began to realize that there is no rule or form to letting creation out of you. Awaking at 3:30 in the morning and grabbing my camcorder to film the movement that had popped into my head, I began to realize the power that Peter had no control over. I would work in the studio all day long and get a few sections out only to get frustrated that it wasn’t pouring out of me. Then I would all of a sudden feel it surge through me and realize that I can’t force it. Some of my favorite stuff that I did for “Snow” was stuff that I didn’t start in the studio.

Another important lesson that I learned was the idea of giving myself parameters. I struggled with the idea of doing Snow scene because I thought that there was nothing “original” I could bring to it. The word “original” is a creators’ worst enemy, the devil looming over your shoulder as you purge out the work. Getting over that fear of originality was only aided by the fact that I was choreographing “Snow”. I had a rough sketch provided by the borders that “Nutcracker” establishes, therefore structuring my work in some way. Any other time I have played around with choreography in the studio I have always said that I didn’t want to make it a story, I just wanted to play around with movement. However, there must be structure within abstraction. When you look at an abstract painting, it isn’t any less planned than a detailed Seurat; it’s just a different type of structure.

Since I have started choreographing this summer I find that I just want to do more and more. It’s a hunger that has to be fed but finding the right nutrients is so difficult. I listen to music all the time and am stimulated by so much of it, but only a handful of things really make me want to get into the studio. How do I find that great piece of music that will pull something out of me? At this point I don’t even really care how good it is, I just want to be doing it.

On my hellish plane ride home I had the chance to listen to the new Thom Yorke (front man of Radiohead)’s album. It is another clear example of something that sounds very random in it’s composition but is every bit as structured Tchaikovsky. One song in particular stood out to me as a possible duet for my friend Blaine and I. You can listen to it, “The Clock”, down below. I guess I’ll just have to see if it starts waking me up at night, then maybe I’ll know it’s the right choice.

Concepts?

I just downloaded the new Justin Timberlake (illegal I know, but I couldn't resist) and on first listen I am very into it. Impressed with the beats and overall sound of the record, good dance tunes that are great to work out to it is just FUN. However, when I was lifting weights at the gym today I was struck by (drumroll please) how dismal even the best of pop music is right now. I say that as if it comes as some sort of surprise but when someone who grew up today starts saying "they just don't make them like they used to," there is a problem.

No one should take this as me saying that I don't like his album because I really am a sucker for catchy pop. However, when you have people like Sufjan Stevens, Feist, and Regina Spektor out there singing about ACTUAL emotions in an educated way, how has this type of pop music become so huge?! Of course, its universal with its simple lyrics, catchy beats and glossy videos but is Justin's "Future Sex/ Love Sounds" the closest thing we have to a mainstream "concept" album? "Gee Justin, what were you trying to accomplish with this CD?" "Well I just wanted to make it about....sex and stuff." I hate how hypocritical I am being, demeaning the success of these artists yet eagerly downloading their CD before the actual release. I've been brainwashed I tell you! I can tell the difference but cannot resist its calling!

Sufjan does concept albums with his 50 State Project, The Who did it with "Tommy" and many others have accomplished it. In modern times though, the closest mainstream success there is would be Green Day's "American Idiot." While a great album, even that in my opinion it isn't a true "concept" album. The more I listen to the Justin CD I am struck and confused by how EVERY SINGLE SONG is about, a. an attempt to have sex, b. an attempt to woo a girl or c. a combo of both. It gets BORING! In the times that we live in with so much happening around us politically, will no mainstream singer take a risk and have a voice throughout it? Unfortunately I think that the answer is a resounding NO. The only group I can think of is the Dixie Chicks and look at how they have been shut out due to their voice. Ugh, I don't feel like I am able to get my thoughts out in an articulate manner today....oh well.

Of course there is a place for club pop but would it hurt these artists to create some art for maybe just ONE track on their CD? Or even just sing about something other than sex, love, sex, love....

Have a listen for yourself to one of the songs, "My Love."

"Well, I GOT IT!"

I had mentioned in my last blog how I needed to get to the gym the second I got back to the city. While I was able to accomplish that, but I have now gotten the most intense work out I could imagine. For the past 24 hours I have had the flu and have been on a strict diet of jello, coke, applesauce, puke, repeat. My abs feel fabulous!!!

On a more serious note, I felt that I was somewhat obligated to blog a little bit tonight since I have been sitting around my apartment doing nothing but watch TV for the past 24 hours. So for now I am going to demand that everyone keep their fingers crossed for Valerie Cherish (aka Lisa Kudrow) to win the Emmy tonight. I doubt it will ever happen but if it does I will muster up the energy in my flu ridden state to jump up and scream. Another special shout out needs to go to "Arrested Development" for continuously being the funniest show I have ever watched. Of course, both of these brilliant shows were cancelled but that's the crappy state of entertainment that we live in.

With the arrival of the Emmys and the fact that it has been dusk like all day here (the world knew I was going to get sick so that really helped me sleep) we are officially being ushered into Fall. It's a strange feeling slowly winding down from summer and looking back on the past year. Even though I don't have a typical "school year" calendar anymore I base the end of my year on the beginning of another work period. I always create a set of goals for myself each year and I rarely accomplish any of them. This year I have actually crossed one of my list, the creation of a piece of choreography!!! I have only been saying I was going to do that for about 3 years now and now once I have started I keep wanting to do more. So what are my "New Fall Resolutions" going to be this year?

1. Watch Valerie Cherish Win
2. Does anything else matter right now!?
3. Asking the forgiveness of the readers for indulging in my flu induced stupor blog. I promise I will have SOMETHING more exciting to say soon. After these drugs wear off!

Clawing My Way Home.

I have decided that Minneapolis is the devil. I apologize to anyone that lives here but it has not been a very kind place to me this summer. Of course in a summer full of incredible memories I guess I deserve a few bad ones to spice it up even more. I am stuck for the second time in three weeks in a hotel by myself blogging before I get up to journey home in the morning. The one positive part of this second time being stranded in the Midwest is that there is a Denny's in the parking lot of this hotel instead of the barren wasteland that was my hotel three weeks ago.

Lacking any better ideas (the Mall of America, a bizarre comment on our culture, was closed) I trotted, yes trotted, my way over to Denny's to gorge myself on some yummy fried food. Having already eaten McDonalds in the airport I feel like a complete lard ass right now which further intensifies the idea that I MUST find a gym the moment I arrive back in NYC.

When I sat down at my empty booth and opened up the menu (which had a sticky texture like it had perhaps been covered in snot recently) I was greeted by the happy little sign that you see above. "Your Day Starts Here!" it exclaimed. Ah, the irony and the fear that it instilled in me was paralyzing. Was THIS really just the BEGINNING of my day?! I thought I was going to bed soon and that the worst was over. If only I had realized that, indeed, the best/worst was yet to come.

I think the mindset of the people in the Denny's can be summed up by the "Claw Machine" that lurked in the center of the restaurant inviting everyone to give it a go. As each party came in, they almost immediately ran over to it as if they had some power that would make these shoddy machines reward them. Let's just say it's grip was about as convincing as the year I pretended I was straight. Yet for some reason this seemed a surprise to everyone. Now I can understand the stoners that came in being confused by this magical machine that was just THIS close away from fulfilling their dreams, but everyone else?!

The one other person I will give credit to is the little boy who was escorted over by his older brother. A Kevin Federline type, this dynamic duo put in a whole dollar (a LOT of commitment to a claw machine) and everytime the results came back negative (something the real K. Fed has NO experience with) the child would run back to his mother crying. Way to work it little boy. I commend you.

My personal favorite though was the combo effect of stoner/K.Fed/employee. He waltzed over in his crisp Denny's uniform and inserted his money to not only be confused by the fact that he lost but also by the fact that his boss was pretty upset that he was playing while being payed. Apparently common sense doesn't exist in the pristine world of Denny's but who would have thought that so much flavor could exist in a chain restaurant?!

Upon exiting I asked the manager if it was okay that I left the money on the table. Without pause he gave me a twitching look that was possibly a consideration to gouge my eyes out with the claw machine (of course that would mean that all the fun would be taken away) but quickly nodded his approval. There was no way he was going to sacrifice the claw even if I had broken the rules. I can only pray that breakfast will be as interesting. Wish me luck!

Surprises.

It's amazing how some people from your past show up and surprise you. I was out for my last night in Montana tonight and had one of the best times I have had here in a long time. I met up with some friends of mine from middle school that I hadn't seen since 8th grade graduation. I realized that I had nothing to fear when it comes to my sexuality and my friends.

Ever since I have been a child and moved away to NCSA I have always been conscious of the way that people that I grew up with think of me. Sometimes there is this heightened sense of fear when it comes to the way that they will react to the fact that I am gay. Most of that stems from being in Montana but part of it is within me all the time. Tonight I hung out with a few great guys from my childhood and realized that I have nothing to fear. At a certain point people realize that humans are humans and we are all the same. At least you can hope that they do. In Montana I always expect the worst but when I am surprised it means so much more. I have a huge smile on my face as I sit here and realize that friendships that I made when I was younger ARE important and every person that I knew makes an impact on my life. I just want to thank these guys for surprising me.....there is nothing better.

Songs YOU need to download. 8/23/06

During my time home I have had a handful of songs that I have been trying to push on everyone. I am certified "music whore" and find myself continuously downloading anything new that might be remotely interesting, not a good idea. The majority of the time I end up getting stuff that I like one or two songs on and I might as well have fed the remaining money to my dog. Since music is so important to me though, I can't really stop exploring and these are my favorites at the moment.

"Goodbyes"-Kelis
So some of you may look at the name and think "oh shit, that annoying girl that sang "Milkshake?" To that I say....GET OVER IT. The rest of Kelis' last CD was incredible and while this new one isn't QUITE as good there are a couple of fun R&B Songs.

"Save Me From Myself"-Christina Aguilera

"On Our Way"-Christina Aguilera
The new CD is out and while some of it is good a lot of it is just so oversung! I get angry that she can't seem to understand what the word restraint means. When she doesn't sound like she is getting electrocuted (which can still be pretty fun sounding) it's just so much better. "Save Me From Myself" is a great song that demonstrates how much better she is when she takes a Xanax.

"14th Street"-Rufus Wainwright
As I sit here wearing my Rufus at Carnegie Hall shirt I thought it would be fitting if I included one of his songs. This is one of my favorites off of the "Want One" CD which still ranks as one of my all time favorite CD's.

"When I Was A Young Girl"-Feist
Love the bareness of the instrumentation on this track. Yet another incredible one from her album.

"Black Swan"-Thom Yorke
The lead singer of Radiohead has a solo album out now which sounds like Rufus Wainwright meets Kid A. On first listen this is one of my favorite songs.

"Snow"-Nutcracker
Now as beautiful as the music is, I want everyone to download this and play it 800 times so they can understand how weird/annoying it gets to have to hear Nutcracker in August. As much as I love it and have been enjoying it while choreographing, I'm kind of at the end of dealing with it.

So that's all for now! It ended up being a little more pop oriented this time. Hope you enjoy some of them.

Wonder Boy.

Michael and I have been pining away at this song for the past few days and here is the WORLD PREMIERE! After I finally got a chance to take a break from choreographing we jumped at the chance to sit down together. Unfortunately Michael is heading out of town tomorrow (and I have to get my ass back into the dance studio to record EVERY part of the 13 person snow scene I have made) so this is all we have of the song so far. We started working on it separately but got some good rewriting done together here in Missoula. It's always a different feeling collaborating with someone but I was so excited to be able to get into a practice room and throw around some ideas.

For me, I always feel like Michael's music is so far superior to my lyrics (I am in NO WAY fishing for compliments here, just being honest) so I always get excited by the way he pushes me to improve my own work. We did a little late night recording session in my house today. As you can see from the pictures (above doing his best Christina Aguilera impression) Michael headed into the "recording booth" aka the bathroom to blast out the vocals. I wrote the lyrics and am somewhat happy (I'm hardly EVER satisfied with things I create) with what we have so far. I am having a hard time with the section that comes after what we have recorded. I hope that people enjoy it! Even though a work in progress, it has been teaching me so much about working together as well as writing lyrics. I tend to be more general and metaphoric rather than specific like I would like to be, but we all have to start somewhere!

Drumroll please…..

So here it is folks, the picture that you all must see. We took this in Virginia City the other morning and I would be lying if I didn't say that this was something we were really looking forward to the whole trip.

So let's take advantage of the fact that now EVERYONE can comment on posts and do a little "name that caption" game. Do your best caption for the above photo (backstory, dialogue, whatever.....) and let's see if we can get a thread going!

You Better Step It Up.

"Step kick, step fan, step turn, ball change, contract."

That's a riveting excerpt of dialogue from the new dance movie currently playing in theaters, "Step Up." It might as well be called "Save the Fame Dance For Center Stage" as it seems to throw every dance movie into a blender, smash it up and then regurgitate it like a mama bird feeding the audience. Can no one write a decent dance movie script? I understand that teen movies are like the J.K. Rowling's of cinema (ooo...I might get killed for that one) but even Rowling can write a good storyline.

This movie is made to be a commentary on ballet vs. Hip-hop used as an allegory for social class systems but with such a cliched script and not nearly enough dancing (or as just about everyone I have talked to agrees, shirtless lead actor) it's just a little wah-wah. That's not to say there aren't enjoyable parts. I found myself laughing hysterically when the lead boy enters the arts high school to find not only teenagers at school, but teenagers running around in dance clothes, riffing down the halls, having violin jams by their lockers, carrying huge canvases, beat boxing and reading dramatic monologues. That's so realistic.....Bravo screenwriters.

It also really pushed the boundaries as far as dance attire goes. The lead girl mixes dance clothes and real clothes as if she got dressed while having a seizure in the dark. Then again that could have been the technique used for the writing and direction as well....at least they were consistent. Four Stars.