The past two summers have included several trips to Montana, but this year Missoula has been enveloped in a smoky haze that rivals the amount of smoke usually reserved for airplanes in the 60's. It wasn't exactly what Michael and I had in mind when Jess arrived for our weekend vacation and we hoped that a little road trip to frontier land Virginia City to visit our friend Gillian would bring some of the sights Montana is famous for.
Sometimes I forget how giant Montana is. It is the fourth largest state in terms of land mass after all, and what is so mesmerizing about it's size is how empty it is. You can drive for hours and see nothing but mountains peppered with the occasional house, trailer, deer or mullet and fortunately over the past 48 hours we saw all that and more.
(We started out our road trip with this completely candid pose, which my mother regarded as "almost pornographic." This is about as close the the drivers seat as I will ever be, seeing I won't get my license until I'm 47.)
(With Michael's exploding biceps, we were able to rough it and catch some delicious food for the trip in the Clark Fork River...)
(Swedish Fish Authentic Montana Trout! Who knew they came in lemon AND cherry flavors. God is crafty like that.)
(After a hearty meal we took a moment to reflect on life in the vast Montana scenery as we blasted "Omigod" from "Legally Blonde: The Musical." Jess threatened to jump out the window so we switched to a little top 40.)
(After hearing Justin Timberlake tell us that we were bringing Sexy Back, we took the VC by storm.)
(Too bad when we showed up the town was filled with plaid clad cowboys without power. Where were we to eat?! Was this going to turn into some bad ghost town horror movie?)
(We tried to do a dance to restore the town's power.)
(When we arrived at the Fairweather Inn (which we later found out is haunted) we stood at the counter for about 5 minutes wondering where the desk clerk was. We waited, and waited, and waited until I finally decided to ask the woman who had been sitting in the lobby watching us. "Pardon me, do you know if there is anyone working here?" After pondering some secret fact in her head for a minute she remarked "Oh! That's me." Hmmmm...thank you for helping us as you watched us being very confused at the desk. No power does not equal no brain, does it? She showed us to the room, which had a missing key, and after a quick tour we decided....not so much.)
(What were we to do?!)
(Since we didn't want raw steak or chicken we decided to journey to Ennis, which is a "town" 15 miles away. It appears it has been infiltrated sassy Russians who helped us at Subway.)
(Jess was scared of the moist vegetables lining the counter and felt uncomfortable because she thought they had just ended a sweaty vegetable orgy.)
(When we got back in the car, the Bearmunk (that rare Bear/Chipmunk hybrid) warned us to hurry back or we would miss Gillian's show.)
(On the drive back we got to see some of the sights that Montana is famous for, including this Heaven/Hell sunset value pack.)
(Before we knew it we were at the Brewery. Michael's bicep is as big as my torso.)
(Even though there was a child standing by with a shirt that said "Life's short...hunt naked" on it, Jess and Michael took a moment to relish their love for each other...)
(Before they started chugging beer while I sat by as sober Sally Struthers.)
(The Brewery Follies almost begs you to get tanked as you sit watching it so it was a test of my BIP/BON (breathe in the positive/breathe out the negative) strengths. That is the official BIP/BON hand movment, in case you are wondering.)
(Intermission brought some confusion about the sense of humor contained in the show. It seemed to be a little bit "gays are funny," "men in dresses are funny," "pedophilia is funny," "STD's are funny," which certainly had the audience laughing, but we were a bit confused. Our friend Gillian was fabulous as always, though.)
(Michael tried to choose his outfit for the next day and was particularly drawn to this true Montana style belt of Gillian's. What would the next morning hold in store?)
(Sassy place-mats...)
(Hot new boyfriends...)
(And a trip to the past. Somehow they manage to make the taking of these photographs one of the most unpleasant experiences ever, but the end result is always hilarious. They direct you down to the fingernail so any of our ideas were quickly shot out the window. We figured a priest, a whore, and a soldier were the most random collection of people you could get and the photo was one of the most random you are likely to see.)
(Fortunately we didn't get lost in our characters and were able to regain ourselves on the long drive home, which brought smoke, rain and most surprisingly hail...in August. Oh, Montana! What would we do without you and your ghost towns?!)
Okay. A of all, Michael's biceps are GIANT! Are you taking steriods Mr. Lowney?
B of all, the video clips are hilarious...I love love love them.
C of all, the old western picture is hilarious. Facebook profe it for all.
D of all, I'm stuck in rainy New Haven with no tennis being played. Boo.
Posted by: Nicholas | August 21, 2007 at 11:52 AM
loving the old photo....in all its sephia glory!
Posted by: jennifer | August 21, 2007 at 04:39 PM