"In A Galaxy Far, Far, Away..."

My pile of writing projects outside of the blog has been a bit overwhelming for the past few days.  Even though I didn't have to attend class last night, several papers for school have been keeping me mighty busy.  This week we were given essays on two subjects that I love: the first was about the incredible author Jonathan Franzen and the second was about....me. 

Each week we have little writing exercises and this week's assignment was to discuss something you used as a form of escape in your childhood.  After reading Jonathan Franzen's essay about his love of the "Peanuts" comics, I immediately settled on my topic.  The only thing that separates this entry from any of my other blog posts all about myself is that I had to incorporate some minor research.  So here is my paper, in all its rough glory! 

The first Target store in Montana opened its doors on my eighth birthday.  This event goes almost unparalleled in my canon of birthday memories from my childhood.  Forgoing the typical party and cake extravaganza, my mom promised me that we would tromp through the store and I’d be able to fill the basket with several choice items lining the toy aisle.  Nothing excited me more and I mark that day as the moment the comfort of the red and white aisles of Target took a hold of me. 

From that day forward I would eagerly await the weekly trip to Tarjaay (a pronunciation I believed to be a secret language of my mothers and I; you can imagine how crushed I was to find out the commonness of this mock French accent.)  Entering the red automatic doors at the front of the store was like a gun going off to start a race.  I’d walk as quickly as possible (running didn’t seem polite) to the action figure aisle and rest my eyes on the shelves stocked with “Star Wars” memorabilia.  In under a minute I could search through each pile and discover which characters would be new and welcome additions to my collection.  I don’t think my mother realized what a simple birthday shopping spree would do to her son; I had discovered how to escape into a galaxy far, far, away. 

Apparently, I wasn’t the only one.  When George Lucas created the movies in 1977 he was smart enough to secure the rights to all of the merchandising tie-ins.  “Before Luke, Leia, Han and the short furry zen-meister took to the big screen, toys tied to movies were few and far between.”  A world without movie-tie-in products was a completely unfathomable idea to me when I was eight.  All of the toys I owned were in the likenesses of the characters I saw on screen.  It’s no surprise, seeing that Lucas’ idea has earned him over “8 billion in global sales in 100 different countries” that others quickly followed suit. 

What my mother, and Lucas, could never have predicted was how much this new escape brought out the OCD side of me.  After I’d frantically plowed through the toy aisle, I would realize that other boys my age had done exactly the same, leaving the aisle looking like a tornado had stormed through it.  Rather than take my prizes and run like everyone else, I spent time organizing and cleaning up the aisles while my mother browsed duvet covers and blenders.   

This strange, methodical ritual had its advantages; the women working in the toy department quickly took notice of the little gay boy that could.  Within a few weeks I had gained access the stock room to slice open boxes of the newest shipments of 4-inch figurines.  “Star Wars” mania was at the peak of its resurgence in the toy world and rather than claw my way to a Princess Leia with the other, dirtier, boys, I enjoyed my preferential treatment. 

It’s no surprise that a science fiction movie captured my attention so undividedly; the very appeal of these movies is how far removed they are from the world we live in.  “Star Wars” is “arguably the reason that science fiction moved out of the sub-culture and into the mainstream.”  Whether people are a fan of it, or despise it, it has a special place in everyone’s life.  To this day I can still sit down with other adults and see a fire lit inside of them the moment “Star Wars” toys come up.

Somehow I’m always convinced I can beat others in terms of merchandise acquired.  The aisles of Target and the flood of “Star Wars” merchandising that began to clutter my room bled into other aspects of my life as well.  I found the stories so exciting that they began to inspire much of my young artistic life.  While most kids in Montana were outside riding bears and dancing with deer, I was in my basement choreographing a one man “Star Wars” ballet.  It’s a wonder that I’ve even become remotely socially capable as a young adult.  When I was a child I never remember feeling like an outsider, but it’s clear now to me that “Star Wars” was a comfort because it protected me from the real world.  In a land full of aliens, space fights, and slave women in gold bras attached to giant slugs, I was utterly normal. 

The toys I collected on my various trips to Target allowed me to act out all of my wildest dreams and develop my storytelling skills.  Of course, there was the occasional moment where the OCD would overtake me at home.  A Luke Skywalker figurine that began his life in a pleasant off-white robe would slowly start to change color as my hours of playtime dirtied him.  Panic overtook me and I’d rush downstairs to have my parents calm my psychotic fears. 

Toy industry insiders claim that “Star Wars” established that you could make buckets of money off of kids.  If my parents could, they would probably go back to 1977 and plead with George Lucas to leave his movies as movies and forgo his marketing empire.  I, however, wouldn’t change it for the world.  To this day I can’t enter a Target without a flood of memories and there is rarely a visit where I still don’t head to the toy section first.  Even though my “Star Wars” ballet will forever stay in my basement, the memories created by my escape into Lucas’ world will remain out in the open. 

Comments

[Sarah]

I too have had some good times in Target. My friends and I have actual plans to move there and live in the lawn and yard furniture section...or like in the ceiling panels or something Like repelling down like spies whenever we needed something. haha

[Natalie D]

This is a very entertaining story. You are a great writer. And a Star Wars Ballet? What more could you ask for! I would like to see that ballet put into reality.

[jolene]

That reminds me of the off-Broadway (I think?) one man Star Wars show, where one guy reenacts the entire Star Wars series in one show. Hilarious, he even "toured" and did his show in SF.

[delirium]

I liked this very much--

a few MINOR notes for when handing it in (if you haven't already). For your paper at least, Star Wars should be underlined or Italicized or even just left alone with its initial caps, but not put in quotes.

Your quotations I assume have citations for the handing in version. I would probably paraphrase them, and still cite your source(s) but no quotation marks needed. The quotes are primarily there to provide factual information, not because the wording of them is so stellar...so put in your own words but do cite the source.

My other note is to proof for excess verbiage. For example, your beginning has: "This event goes almost unparalleled in my canon of birthday memories from my childhood."

There is nothing wrong with that, though they my...my is a bit ungainly. Perhaps "This event is (or goes) almost unparalleled in my canon of childhood birthday memories"

and hell, while I'm at it, why not just say it is "unparalleled..." (drop the almost), nothing wrong with a slight exaggeration for the force of the statement.

Speaking of excess verbiage I'll shut up now :) Feel free to delete this comment, I just wanted to get you my notes. All I said notwithstanding, your essay is of a far greater calibre than most of the papers I read.

[amy]

Slightly related--you mentioned NaNoWriMo a while ago.
But have you seen this ?

[amy]

Slightly related--you mentioned NaNoWriMo a while ago.
But have you seen this ?

[M]

I haven't seen that amy, thanks for bringing it to my attention. I unfortunately was unable to participate in NaNoWriMo due to my other writing commitments taking up so much of my time. I'm still working on a short story though whenever I feel the surge of inspiration.

I do my best to post every day on Ranting, but I can't always promise. Sometimes life gets in the way ;-)

[emily]

this post still cracks me up. it's great.

[jason kenny]

You could put out those hanging nets with bird feed in them to hang in trees. They seem to go down very well. You can get them in all hardware stores.