The History of BAM (Blaine and Matt)

(This is how we look in the morning before we shower.)

I often don’t remember my first encounters with many friends, but I remember meeting Blaine Hoven. 

It was a Spring afternoon in North Carolina and I was making my way back to the dance building after grabbing a snack.  Ninth grade was winding down, and there had only been a few other boys in my class.  As I walked along the second floor of the courtyard, I passed a faded blue “Dance” painted on the wall when I ran into one of my teachers, Christine Spizzo. 

“Matt, I want you to meet Blaine,” she said to me as I gazed at a boy and his mother whose Southern roots became apparent the moment they said hello.  “Blaine’s thinking about joining us next year at NCSA.  Wait until you see this boy turn.”

Immediately I felt threatened.  Turning was one of the things that had given me insecurities my entire dancing life.  Suddenly there was a boy in front of me who not only had the endorsement of one of my teachers, but he also excelled at my weakness; I’d worked all year on those things. 

Before I knew it, the fleet footed turner had stepped into my territory at NCSA.  Armed with a yellow “Murphy High School” Track Jacket, and a suitcase full of extra Southern syllables, I wasn’t sure what to make of him at first.  He fit nicely into my group of friends, but I remember people began to pit us against each other. 

Girls in class would debate our butts, or whose extension was nicer (he usually won both of those contests).  Of course, key above those debates was that of our dancing.  It was the type of competitive friendship that I had lacked my entire first year.

My friendship with Blaine escalated to a type of brotherly camaraderie.  We would bicker (as we still do at times) but there was always a sense that we were looking out for each other.

It quickly became apparent to me that Blaine and I were like night and day when it came to our dancing.  One of the hardest things about our initial friendship was learning to rise above the judgment from other people.  If there was one dancer I knew I could learn from at NCSA, it was Blaine; falling into the pattern of pitting ourselves against each other would be useless in the long run. 

As we grew, it became clear that as different as we were, somehow the same career path had chosen both of us.  Two years together at NCSA led to Studio Company contracts, and we moved up to the city in August 2003. 

Once we got there, sharing bunk beds in an apartment that had ten mice for each of the six people, we became closer than ever.  There were still catty fights to be had, and drunken explorations of the city that are some of the most vibrant memories of my life, but whatever the event, it was just another piece of the puzzle of our friendship. 

Somehow we came out of an apartment with six teenage boys alive, and in the spring of 2004 entered the main company.  It was then that I began to rely on Blaine more than ever.  Blaine is always there to clarify a step, or make a blunt comment to lighten the tension in the room.  Blaine is always there to be my friend and push me to be a better dancer.

It’s been difficult over the past year because as much as I’ve gone through with Blaine, this illness was something I could only endure alone in many ways.  To say it has cut into my friendships (and obviously my professional life) is an understatement. 

When Blaine told me that he wanted to come to Montana, I didn’t believe him.  It’s expensive.  And far away.  And freezing this time of year.  All in all, not the most enticing travel package.  Regardless, Blaine made the trip and we had a wonderful time exploring several facets of Montana’s gay culture, and catching up on all that both of us have missed from each other’s lives.  Just a few more memories to add to the already crowded library. 

Comments

[Tania]

"a yellow 'Murphy High School' Track Jacket,and a suitcase full of extra Southern syllables." Yeah? That's good. I wish I had come up with it. Legitimate jealousy going on 'round these parts!

Ah, the wonders of competitive friendships and how they nourish and punish you. I've certainly had a few (and a romantic relationship of that sort too, how very special that was), and you describe it very well. Your writing has been really, impressively improving.

[jolene]

Aw.

[M]

Thanks Tania, I was proud of that sentence :-) It came to me yesterday after we dropped Blaine off at the airport and I knew I needed to use it somewhere.

Also thanks for the compliment on my writing. I get a little scared looking back on my old posts now, but realize that I still have so much to learn when it comes to writing! I need to get in some classes!!!

[Rob]

Best friends rock. Period. And yes, the writing is getting much more concise and very clear, but then again, you were a good writer a year ago when I found your blog after I got laid off. I remember staying up all night just reading the damn thing. It's addictive.

And since i just watched this two seconds ago, I'm going to share it with you as thanks for a kick ass blog:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e41fne9WIXY

[Tania]

Yeah you really should take some creative writing classes! Through your university or an independent evening program when you get back to NYC. They are the best, though kind of terrifying and occasionally ego bruising at first. I'm really starting to miss them. I'm ashamed to admit it but this whole "first year out of college existential crisis" that you hear people talk about has really taken a toll on my creative output. I miss writing all the time and feeling moderately artistically fulfilled, I miss being around my writer friends, and weirdly enough I really miss editing other people's work. Helping/encouraging other people in their writing is something I find really gratifying.

[Cathy]

Awww!! nice writing and I loved both pictures!

[philip]

Montana has a gay culture? You mean, like BROKEBACK?

[M]

Oh just you wait Philip! I've got a post ALL about it coming up :-)

[Nick]

AmVets! Yessssssssssssssssssssss. ICW.