Let's make a deal: If I make you laugh during the live blog, you buy a ticket to see "Passing Strange" on Broadway. Deal? Don't make me send Mary after you.
(This week is a special treat: Mary AND Mia as the cover models!)
14 last week. 12 this week. With the elimination of the gentle giants (Kourtni and Matt), the future of classical technique (on the show, at least) rests on Will's shoulders. We are dangerously close to the top-10 finalists, and there's no doubt that this week will put the dancers through the ringer. After double duty last week, what's in store tonight? Perhaps dancing while wearing an in ear monitor producing a constant Mary shriek? Now THAT'S a test of talent. Welcome to "So You Think You Can What What?!"
8:00- Cat looks lovely tonight in a pastel pink dress that was possibly painted by Lisa Frank. Or is it a hyper color dress? I would totally run up to her and breathe on her dress to just watch it change colors. Honestly though, the dress looks great on her.
8:01-The stage looks a bit bare for the introductions tonight. Shit is getting serious. I can't get over the fact that Chelsea's hair looks super Jon Benet this week. Last week she stole her dress, this week her hair. What's next? A Jon Bennett marionette? Too much? Sorry.
8:02- Joshua blows my mind for the first time tonight with a ripple during the introduction that manages to make his body look as fragmented as a Picasso painting before miraculously piecing back together.
8:03- I can't really believe Comfort is still on the show. She needs to BRING IT tonight. Because Mary is going to throw her onto the train tracks. Oh, what am I talking about? Mary doing something sane? NEVER!
8:04- Mia is on the panel tonight! And she stole Britney Spears' hat from the 2001 MTV Music Awards.
8:05- Holy fuck balls. (Pardon the expression, but really, this dress deserves it.) I take back what I said about Chelsea. Mary has stolen the Jon Benet dress pattern and cross-bred it with a Scarlett O'Hara original. It's very Jon Benet O' Hara goes to a funeral. That seems like all kinds of wrong.
8:06- Chelsea and Mark are up first doing an Alex de Silva Salsa routine. de Silva appears to be wearing the same hat as Mia. Maybe everyone will appear in them at some point tonight? Or maybe Alex de Silva and Mia Michaels are the same person. Very, very possible.
8:07- The wardrobe department is a fan of half dresses this year as Chelsea appears in a blue and black leotard peacock. Do you think they make the guys wear half dance belts? I guess that's not really the same, but kind of funny idea.
8:08- Chelsea has great control on the tight spins that this routine requires. I still feel as if she doesn't connect to Mark as well as she could, but he is definitely bringing the sex appeal tonight and partnering her confidently. The routine loses some steam in the middle (as Chelsea's costume begins to fall off), but redeems itself with a final lift in which Mark spins her up his body and around his head until her inner thighs almost devour his sassy mohawk.
8:09- Nigel begins his pervy comments of the night by likening Mark's stiffness while dancing to the fact that he himself would be "stiff" is he were dancing with her. There is now vomit all over my keyboard.
8:09- It is VERY possible that Mary is wearing a Mardi Gras center piece over her boobs. And my old costume jewelry. GIVE IT BACK, MARY!
8:10- Mia says of Chelsea: "I want to stab you, you're so gorgeous." That is 100% my new pickup line.
8:14- Comfort and Thayne are up next doing hip-hop with Tabitha and Napoleon Beatrix and Geronimo!!!! YES. Thayne says he "naturally smiles a lot." He is officially the Wal-Mart savings happy face.
8:15- Comfort is already bringing it tonight just by the fact that she looks amazing in a fuzzy white rabbit fur vest. More great choreography from Beatrix and Geronimo, that starts on the stairs with Thayne telling a popped and locked whispered secret in Comfort's ear. The whole routine has a kind old school Michael Jackson meets the strip club feel. (It works, except for the whole part that I never really watched Thayne. Comfort didn't help send attention to him, and he didn't hold his own.)
8:18- Jessicar and Will are up next doing Tice Diorio contemporary. The piece is about "the garden of Eden." Jessicar claims to feel the most confident ever in this routine. Cut to Will in a loin cloth, and I become the most confident that I will enjoy something about this routine.
8:20- The routine starts slowly with Jessicar wrapping around Will's body before he does a gorgeously suspended backbend to the ground. The music is so sparse (just a single voice, with minimal strings) and there is some nice movement and partnering. Unfortunately I don't feel that the movement is creating a melody of its own, or else the dancers' pacing is a bit off.
8:22- Nigel contradicts everything I just said.
8:24-And Mary just starts clapping for no reason, and says she's blushing about Will's costume. "Will you are just the picture strength, dynamic, sexy pool boy that I'm desperate to hire," Mary may or may not have said.
8:31- Courtney and Gev are doing a Cha-Cha routine with Anya and Pasha from last season. I do think it's wonderful that the show gives young choreographers a chance to be seen on a national show.
8:32- Gev, Anya and Pasha speak in Russian during the rehearsal process and Courtney looks like she is on the verge of a breakdown.
8:33- Doing a cha-cha to "Don't Stop the Music," by Rihanna. Courtney looks gorgeous in a skimpy gold half-dress. The routine has a section that borders on hip-cha-hop-cha. Kind of a fun way to spice up the events. I never get very excited by this couple though. Courtney's makeup is far too pale. I think she MAY have been rubbing her face all over Cat's dress. I knew that shit was hyper-color.
8:35- Cat asks Mary if it was magic, and Mary gets look on her face that is possibly her brain rebooting. I can't stand the judges this year. Half the time they just let people slide by with sub-par technique, and other times they ream them for it. Mary blasts them onto the hot tamale train.
8:37- Cat then asks Gev if he shaved his chest. Mary is heard screaming, "Me too!" Hmmm....
8:40- "It would have been terrible, you would have had hair in your teeth," says Cat. Ummm...the last time I partnered a girl her face was not used as a lawnmower. What kind of routine is that?
8:41- Kherrington and Twitch are up doing Krump by Lil C. The whole interview package consists of Kherrington talking about how white she is, and how bad she will be at Krump. Is this going to be Clay Aiken starring in "Rize"? Book me a ticket!
8:42- Twitch comes on and has an extended solo to begin with that includes a lot of spinning on the floor in what look like pleather pants and a skull shirt; it's like Ghost Rider goes to Jennifer Convertibles. He then reaches down off the stage and pulls up someone that is NOT Clay Aiken. But the dancer with him appears to be having as much trouble as Aiken would have. Twitch is doing his best to make up for Kherrington's shortcomings, but they are out of sync tonight. I like the choreography though.
8:44- "You came out Twitch, on your knees," says Mary. There are just so many places I could go with that statement. I'll refrain. It could get ugly.
8:45- "It was so dirty, and so real, and scary," says Mia of her battle with Molly Ringwald for the off the shoulder black sweatshirt she stole from 1983. "Back to the Future: Part IV An Organic Fashion Spree?"
8:50- Katee and Joshua (the golden couple) are up next doing a Jean-Marc Geniroux Vienesse waltz. I love how much these two transform from the interview package to when the perform.
8:51- Last time Geniroux choreographed to Celine Dion, this time it's to "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls. It's like he wants me to relive every awkward middle school dance I ever had.
8:52- It starts with an extended solo for Katee before Joshua comes down behind her dressed in black, a sort of ghost figure. I'm always amazed at his upper body and how fully his able to convince me of his confidence with a particular style even though his legs aren't fully extended or as high as other performers. Katee's extension is effortless (as are his lifts of her tonight, including several overhead presses.) What I love about Joshua is how he partners her without making it look like he's partnering her, instead he just becomes another part of her body for a moment. Can you tell I love this couple?
8:54- Of course the judges have something bad to say. "Too bouncy," is the consensus. That's what people used to say about Mia's penis. Wow. It's getting late. I can't believe I just typed that. Totally kidding. Ish.
9:02- Chelsea and Mark are up next with a Tice Diorio Broadway routine. Okay, now I think that Mark really IS wearing a hyper color shirt. He seems to own a plunging v-neck in every possible color.
9:03- It's a slow, and sultry number to "I'm a Woman," from "Smokey Joe's Cafe." Mark has some really nice moments, including a spin down to the the splits. The choreography doesn't seem to go as far as it could. But ends with a nice domino fall (where Chelsea almost face plants) that is a bit of creative partnering. I'm pretty astounded by the fact that any choreographer can create this much work. Bravo to them all.
9:04- Nigel tells Chelsea that she is all leg. And that if she is 5' 2" then 5' 1" of that is leg. How freakish would that be if you were all leg with an inch of the rest of your body.
9:05- Somehow Nigel gets on the subject of kitchen sex. Seriously, he is making me turn into the fucking Exorcist tonight. Projectile vomit. Must clean off the TV.
9:07- Comfort and Thayne are up next with a Mandy Moore contemporary routine.
9:08- Using a George Michael song. Seriously. Does Mandy Moore know that it isn't 1985 anymore? I wonder if she still has Wham! posters up in her apartment.
9:09- Thayne has a really nice movement quality, and uses his legs well to get into the ground. Mia must be having an "organic" orgasm over him. The whole routine seems very pedestrian though. A sort of broken home/ 50's (by way of the 80's) housewife storyline that includes a lot of walking (and some nice partnering work). Too much stillness that wasn't infused by the dancers.
9:11-Wouldn't it be awesome if it cut to Mary and she was wearing a Mardi Gras headdress to compliment her Mardi Gras bodice? Or if she was just sitting on a horse? Hey, why not?
9:18- Jessicar and Will are up next doing the quick step (kiss of death?) with Tony Meridith and Melanie LaPatin.
9:20- I am not about to say this just because Will is fully clothed in this routine, but...you CANNOT start a quick step routine with a full stage tumbling pass. REALLY? I would never krump while doing "Swan Lake" (well, except for that one time...why do you think I'm not in ABT anymore?!). Jessicarseems to be getting dragged along a bit by Will, not any articulation to her footwork (which is the very essence of the quick step). They are both mugging a bit for my taste in this routine. Will throws in a 540 at the end. Can't handle tricks for tricks sake.
9:22- Mary talks about how they should have looked like they were on hot coals. You know her house doesn't have hardwood, it's all hot coals just so she can her herself shrieking all the time.
9:23- What if they took off Mia's hat and she had been all Hannibal Lector lobotomized? Probably not the case though, as she calls it like it is, telling Will he looks like he's "tired of carrying Jessica. [He] need[s] a new partner."
9:28- Courtney and Gev are up with Mandy Moore doing Jazz. "It's about two people lost in the jungle..." says Moore. While on an 80's safari, one must assume.
9:30- They are both dressed in Indiana Jones compliments of the Gap costumes. Gev has a cool moment at the beginning doing a handstand with his legs bent as he pops himself off the floor. They have a very nice connection in this number, as they chase after each other for the map. It escalates to a battle of sorts, running around the stage. Moore's best (and most playful) number of the season.
9:32- "Gev, the moment you stepped down on the stage and the way you were moving your shoulders, I was like come to momma Gev! Give it to me!" Mary may or may not have said. "You show us how strong you are...and being able to do that trick...and taking it down into where you need to go." That's verbatim (okay, with a few omissions). And too easy.
9:38- Kherrington and Twitch are up next doing the Tango by Jean-Marc Generoux. It's a story akin to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith." Brangelina meets Twitchington. I wonder if Twitchington has like 8,000 babies.
9:42- Kherrington looks beautiful in a black and white stripped dress. The number starts off slow with them gliding across the floor under blue light. Then the battle begins. Rockets explode. Elephants come out. With Mary on top riding it like she's Aladdin (and Mia is obviously Abu). Hold on. That didn't happen. I like Kherrington and I think she has nice lines, but there is a falseness to her performance (particularly in her face) that is discouraging.
9:50- Katee and Joshua are doing Bollywood (gasp!) for the final performance of the night. This is going to rock. Everything points to train wreck, which only means my golden couple is going to pull through. Right?
9:51- It's a guy tries to get girl routine including a scarf and more playful performing from the fantastic duo. They both look very precise with their arm movements and incredibly deep knee bends (bringing back horrific memories of dancing "Petrouchka"). The number escalates to a frantic pace, with Katee and Joshua traveling in a circle while doing chaine turns on their knees. Great routine, and a wonderful introduction to a new style.
9:53- It just dawned on me that Mary is in fact wearing her Madam uniform for her night shift at the brothel.
9:54- "On this stage we have one rule," Mary says. She then stares in her reboot position before continuing. "Heart, soul, equal stardom, please the client, and don't be a fool, wrap your tool." Words to live by.
Another uneven night. I think Beckyloo summed it up best when explaining that this season is a bit of a letdown because the level started so high that there isn't a huge amount of growth. Even so, I'm still hooked. I mean Mary Murphy's like all kinds of "Sesame Street" crazy rolled into one; so many lessons to learn.
Top Three of the Night:
1. Katee and Joshua
2. Courtney and Gev
3. Chelsie and Mark
Heading home:
1. Comfort and Thayne
It is VERY possible that Mary is wearing a Mardi Gras center piece over her boobs. And my old costume jewelry.
You are so my hero.
Posted by: demondoll | July 10, 2008 at 12:42 AM
I'm dying with anticipation!! What's taking you so long!!! :-)
PS. This is the best discovery I've had in years, your blog combined with SYTYCD. I'm thinking of throwing a party where we have a loud speaker announcing your blogs as they pop up. Would you come? Oh wait. That wouldn't work, would it?
Posted by: C.C. | July 10, 2008 at 01:28 AM
this completed my day...i can just go to sleep now.
(and on a side note... if you're going to krump in any classical ballet, hands down, R&J, I've had some crazy backstage dance parties to that ballet haha)
Posted by: Sarah Sterner | July 10, 2008 at 01:30 AM
Thanks for your great posting. So much work on your part which is much appreciated.
Posted by: Meenakshi Ammal | July 10, 2008 at 02:11 AM
I so love your live blogging
Posted by: Vincent | July 10, 2008 at 02:30 AM
Your posting didn't just make me smile - it made me laugh alot.
Posted by: Meenakshi Ammal | July 10, 2008 at 08:12 AM
Ah ha ha ha. That cover picture is fantastic! Mary is on some kind of drugs. She is the Paula Abdul of this show. She starts her sentence in one direction and by the end it makes no sense and has ended up somewhere else! The only couple for me that I have seen growth in is Courtney and Gev. They seem to keep raising the bar each week even though they aren't the best dancers. Comfort must go go.
Posted by: Natalie D. | July 10, 2008 at 08:48 AM
I love reading your sytycd blogging. But Please please let Jessica go home. Put her and us out of her misery! I really do NOT believe she 's still around.. Lucky to be paired with Will I guess.
Posted by: Sandi | July 10, 2008 at 09:18 AM
"On this stage we have one rule. Heart, soul, equal stardom." What the hell is she talking about? She is insane. I loved the Bollywood performance. I hope they do a Bollywood group number at some point.
Posted by: Ashleigh | July 10, 2008 at 09:27 AM
Awesome,hilarious recap. I'm going to rewatch the videos while I"m rereading your post since I missed the "live" part. I totally agree with your top three: Katee and Joshua have at least one home run per show, while Chelsie and Mark are consistently fun and sometimes thrilling. Gev and Courtney are zooming up the charts. The other couples have their moments, but they are two uneven. I feel as if poor Comfort and Jessica have had the spirit beaten out of them. Yes,I know the real live dance world is harsh, but i don't enjoy watching that as part of my entertainment.
Posted by: Joanna | July 10, 2008 at 10:50 AM