Of all the times in my life that I would choose to relive, the year I turned thirteen is near the bottom of that list. Puberty was hitting in full force; I’d recently incorporated shaving into my morning routine, sex was suddenly more than a word I used to snicker at, and I was about to enter high school. In short, it was an uncomfortable and rather uneventful time despite physical changes, and I don’t think I’m alone in that sentiment. So why, therefore, would Jason Robert Brown, Tony Award-Winning composer of modern musical theater staples “Parade,” and “Songs for a New World,” choose to not only write a musical about kids figuring out they’re not kids anymore, but to cast only teenagers in the production? And put it on Broadway, at that? Sadly, these are questions whose answers are only more dumfounding after viewing the show.
One can’t fault the cast, a collection of kids with more professional credits than some adult actors, or the even the daring choice of using only what are essentially children to carry a Broadway musical. The sole offender in this unfortunate new musical is the concept and material, presented in a way that makes the whole evening feel like borderline emotional kiddie porn. Hearing people singing about discovering body hair when they are experiencing that backstage lends a rather uncomfortable feeling to the proceedings.
The largest problem with picking this vulnerable age as the sole storyline of one of the season’s first musicals is it doesn’t present much of a story. Thirteen is a time when you’re old enough to know you’re changing, but young enough that you’re unsure of how to process it. For the most part, the first year of being a teen involves little more than existing in the world that has just shifted around, and inside of, you. You want a lot (which helps drive a musical), but you don't have the means to bring those wants to fruition (a hindrance for the show).
As Susan Orlean presents in her wonderful essay, “The American Man, Age 10,” there’s a story to be told about kids on the precipice of losing their innocence. By thirteen, that’s largely already happened. Therefore all that Brown and book writers Dan Elish and Robert Horn present the audience is a mundane plot about French kissing and inviting people to a party, that wouldn’t fill a 30-minute episode of “Degrassi,” a show fully capable of addressing issues relevant to the teenage population.
“13,” on the other hand, may as well have thirty-year-olds playing the teenagers. (In fact, maybe it would be more interesting to have a “Vagina Monologues” type show with people reflecting about puberty.) Brown, so often a skilled composer and lyricist before, seems to think that by interjecting references to the Jonas Brothers, “fagmos” (used repeatedly), My Space, and YouTube, he can create a show true to the age group making a resurgence due to the profitability producers see after the success of “High School Musical.” The problem is that these references are thrown into dialogue and lyrics that are far too self-aware for your average teenager. Analysis of the social and physical changes inherent in puberty requires perspective that quite simply isn’t possible without the benefit of age and the hindsight that comes with it. Brown, of course, has this ability, which yields some appealing songs, most of which seem completely out of character.
Those that stay true to the paper-thin characters, immortalized on the poster with labels like “Jock,” “Loser” (a.k.a the terminally ill boy – played with skill by Aaron Simon Gross – who is the brunt of some of the evenings most uncomfortable jokes, including a song with the lyrics “One foot in front of the other,” which he sings while sitting down, crutches resting on his lap) can’t ever seem to accomplish one of the prerequisites for a musical theater song: carrying the plot forward. The songs just sit there, lumbering back and forth on stage.
There is the occasional pleasing number, most often including Al Calderon as Eddie, the jock’s sidekick who infuses his scenes with a sense of rhythm and humor absent from some other members of the cast. His “Bad, Bad News” is one of few numbers to wake the audience from the meandering plot.
Despite the lack of dramatic action, the choreography by Christopher Gattelli tries to fill the scenes with enough movement to please the audience’s need for flash. The problem, which is admittedly somewhat endearing, is the teenagers populating the show are gangly creatures being asked to perform full-scale Broadway numbers. They all put forth more than a valiant effort, but the responsibilities being asked of them seem like too much to handle. These responsibilities include using the teenage cast to haul sets on and offstage (is the stage manager a teen as well?) all adding to the production’s difficulty overcoming a high-end community theater vibe. But even most community theaters would know to avoid lines directed at disabled teenagers like, “If he’s having a seizure in the bathtub, just throw some clothes in and he’ll do the laundry.” It’s impossible not to question where the taste level was for the entire creative team with this one. Some of the jokes would have difficulty landing on “South Park,” let alone a Broadway musical.
This show’s future is highly questionable. Word is that they are making drastic changes during the preview period. But the question ultimately comes down to who will want to see this. It’s not hip enough for thirteen-year-olds to have interest in; it’s a bit too mature for younger kids; not nearly campy enough to fulfill a “High School Musical” slot; and it’s not emotionally gripping in a nostalgic sense for adults. At the end of the day, “13” is a show that directly mimics that time in my life by becoming something I’d rather not revisit.