25 Facts

I'm a sucker for these lists.  As if I don't share enough information on here.   What better way to get to know even  more about me than to read 25 embarrassing facts?!  Enjoy.  Thanks, Philip, for alerting me to this new Facebook plague. 

1.    The first CD I owned was “The Sign” by Ace of Base.  The first tape single I owned was “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred. 

2.    When I was six, I had a secret club with my best friend where we went into the closet and drew pictures of naked women.  In hindsight they probably looked more like De Kooning’s renditions of women than anything resembling an actual person.  It’s the first time I remember being in the closet with regard to anything sexual. 

3.    I have an extreme love for chewing gum and ice at the same time. 

4.    My biggest fear is that I won’t ever be as good or successful at anything as I was at dancing.  My other biggest fear is that the upcoming Ace of Base reunion CD won’t be satisfactory. 

5.    I was a huge fan of action figure playsets when I was a kid.  Of all the ones I owned, the Ghostbuster’s firehouse was my favorite.  Three levels and a giant blue spiral elevator?!  Heaven.  (Close second: a vintage Ewok Village playset I got after I forced my parents to drive to a collectibles store two hours out of our way during vacation in LA.)

6.    I think it would be cathartic if adults were able to play with said playsets without being made to feel strange.

7.    My obsession with "Star Wars" bordered on unhealthy.  When I was about ten I found a giant piece of Styrofoam that had been used in packaging for a piece of basement furniture.  Instead of discarding it, I shaved it into the shape of Jabba the Hutt and used it as a set piece in my adaptation of “Return of the Jedi.”  It shed little white pieces everywhere.  It was like a giant’s dandruff explosion in the basement. 

8.    My favorite song of the moment is “That’s Not My Name” by The Ting Tings.  Yet, for the life of me, I cannot figure out why “Slumdog Millionaire” is using a snippet of this song in their new Oscar campaign ads. 

9.    I’ve never had a long-term boyfriend.  I think my mother is close to starting an E*Harmony profile for me.  I think we are both secretly hoping it somehow leads to me being with Anderson Cooper. 

10.    I appeared in a world premiere reading of a Marsha Norman (Tony Award-winning writer of “The Secret Garden” and “’Night Mother”) play.  At the time it was called “Trudy Blue” and Andie MacDowell played my mother.  I had two lines: “I want ice cream,” and “I want Pop Tarts.”  Fortunately I could draw from experience to deliver these lines with conviction.

11.    I have always had a desire to take singing lessons.

12.    Even though I don’t say it enough, I am endlessly thankful for all my parents have done to financially provide for my sister and me.  But more than that, I am thankful for the artistic freedom they exhibited in their own lives and encouraged in ours.  Not many people get to see their parents perform in shows, paint in rented studios, direct shows, choreograph dances, teach classes, make movies, and design kick-ass art installations for the house.

13.    When my father took up smoking cigarettes during my childhood, I boycotted playing the piano.  I also boycotted if I chipped a nail, or wanted to watch an episode of “Full House.” 

14.    My biggest memory of living in LA is a day during the Rodney King riots when my neighbors, Adam and Rebecca, and I marched back and forth between our houses in protest.  I was four. 

15.    I have written two musicals in my life, both with Michael Lowney when we were children.  The first was called “Time Capsule” and it was about…time travel.  You can imagine our disappointment when we realized a time capsule is not the same thing as a time machine; it fucked up all of our rhyming patterns.  The second was called “Myth” and it was basically “Into the Woods” but with Greek mythology.  It centered around Prometheus bringing fire to the people, but mixed in just about every story we could wedge into the plot.  I am still bitter about the fact that when I handed it in for an eighth grade project (complete with demo recordings, set designs, a dream cast Playbill, and a 50-page libretto) I got the same grade as people who made Mount Olympus out of popsicle sticks. 

16.    There is no worse feeling to me than being judged because I’m gay.  It’s a terrible sensation to go back to Montana and (especially when I leave Missoula) worry about what I’m wearing and how I’m interacting with friends.  Unfortunately, things like this have happened on the subway in NYC. 

17.    I have an embarrassing knowledge of pop culture.  Ask me the date of a historic event?  My mind is blank.  Ask me the date that “Titanic” opened in movie theaters?  December 19, 1997.  Don’t worry.  I’m not proud of it. 

18.    I want to have 19 children when I grow up, so I can start my own show on TLC called “19 Kids and Counting…Down Until the Moment We Die.”  I actually want two kids.  And I want one of them to be Aaden from “John and Kate Plus Eight.”

19.     The single most influential book I’ve read is Willem de Kooning’s biography, which taught me about an entire artistic movement, and what it means to create.  A close second is “Where the Red Fern Grows,” which taught me how to cry.  A close third is “The Witches,” which taught me books could be adapted into terrifying movies where Angelica Huston peels off her face. 

20.    I stood backstage at ABT one time beside Angelica Huston and Pierce Brosnan.  I wanted to ask her if she would peel off her face for old time’s sake.  But then I had to go on stage. 

21.    I once got my braces stuck to a tutu when I was rehearsing “The Nutcracker” at NCSA.  My mom had been telling me to stop dancing with my mouth open.  Point taken. 

22.    My favorite memory of my time at NCSA is when Melissa Hayden was measuring the stage by walking across it with her tiny, tennis-shoed feet.  Instead of counting normally, she proclaimed “One fat girl, two fat girls, three fat girls, four fat girls,” and so on, as the entire female corps stretched on the side of the stage. 

23.     My sister is possibly the coolest person I know.  I’m always envious of her sense of style, and the way her hair stays propped up with only a little bit of product.

24.    In middle school, I had a class where we broke into small groups and were responsible for building an entire bathroom.  We put up the dry wall, installed the plumbing, and then painted the whole thing.  I didn’t retain any of that knowledge.  Probably because I delegated all of the responsibility to Taylor, the class tomboy, while I planned my lessons for teaching the senior citizens how to type.  Yes, I was such a good typist that, instead of taking class, I got to take a bus to Grizzly Peak Retirement Home and teach seniors what a keyboard was.  Don’t be jealous. 

25.    I have now procrastinated an hour of work in order to come up with twenty-five facts about myself.  I am a master procrastinator. 

Comments

[Cindy]

Your method of procrastinating is a lot more productive than mine..... and a lot funnier. Thanks for the laughts.

[Cindy]

Of course, I meant laughs. Whoops.

[A Little Tea or Something]

Love this. Was going to say No. 7 was my favorite as my son engaged in many similar creations requiring the vacuum to take care of the Styrofoam dandruff. Until I read No. 22, which made me laugh so hard I just about wet my pants. Which would be bad, since I'm about to go teach ballet to five- and six-year-olds. Re No. 18: I heartily commend parenting to you when the time is right; there is nothing like it, and the importance of everything else you will have done until then will pale by comparison. Plus, you will be great at it.

[Kathy]

Your list just made my day. You have got to be the most creative and funniest person I know. Or just plain creative and funny. Since I don't really know you.

Go take singing lessons.

[jackie]

I'm laughing out loud. and for the record, my first cd was alanis morissette ( I don't know how to spell her last name) "jagged little pill". And also, I'm sure that after seeing us perform "Rodeo" Angelica Huston would have peeled her face off for us. Witches is amazing. Loves it!

[Ashleigh]

My first CD was also Ace of Base. I think my second CD was the soundtrack to The Bodyguard...haha! Good luck getting Anderson Cooper! I would be so jealous.

[Jes]

I learn something new about you everyday...that I love completely! Missing you during our one year anniversary. xoxo

[cathy]

oh my god. pierce brosnan. if i had seen him ever in my life, i'd probably have fainted :)

[Natalie D.]

These were great and fun to read! Yes you should dance with your mouth closed and the Melissa Hayden story cracked me up!

[jim]

Wow, I have another huge crush on you!